Why Women’s handbags should come with Google search

I thought this was interesting!

The Crazy Nigerian

Google handbagsHave you been in a queue at the supermarket and had a woman in front of you rummaging through her handbag for her credit card?

Have you dropped a woman off at her place after a romantic evening and waited while she ransacked her handbag for her front door key?

Have you had to place several phone calls to a woman whom you had no idea couldn’t answer your phone call because she hadn’t found her phone in her handbag?

What is it with women and big handbags? Why do they seem to keep getting bigger and bigger? It wouldn’t hurt for somebody to tell the manufacturers to stop increasing the depth of these handbags because of the externalities that result from their production i.e. the shoppers queuing behind at the teller point, the driver waiting to zoom off, and the concerned friend at the end of an unanswered…

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Bros I need a loan…

Rrrrrring Rrrrrrrring!

(Friend No.1 picks up)

You: Bros abeg nor vex. You fit raise me like 5k dia?
Friend No.1: Cheiyehhhh! If to say you call me like yesterday, I for fit drop you somtin. I spend my last card yesterday. Sorrry!

(You hang up)

Rrrrrring Rrrrrrrring!

(Friend No.2 picks up)

You: Guy you fit raise me like 5k?
Friend No.2: As I dey so ehn…hmmm…notin, notin…I jus dry!

(You hang up)

Rrrrrring Rrrrrrrring!

(Friend No.3 picks up)

You: Bros I nor too get credit. You hol’ like 5k for dia wey man fit borrow? I go fit pay back next week.
Friend No.3: Ohhhhhh! Why e be say you dey always like ask me when money nor dey? When I hol’ scatter, you nor go gree call..

(You hang up)

Rrrrrring Rrrrrrrring!

(Friend No.4 picks up)

You: Guy my credit don almost finish. I need like 5k na na na! Borrow me I go give you next week. No gimme story o!
Friend No.4: hmmm….(laughter)…O’ boy as I see your number I jus happy. I bin dey plan call you but I nor bin get credit. Me I bin tink say you for fit borrow me like 2k wey I go take hol’ mysef dis weekend.Kai! na wa o!

Line goes dead. Credit exhausted. You jus tire for life!

You never really know the quality of friendship you have till you want to borrow some money.lol!

I feel like Rip Van Winkle

One of the most memorable works of fiction I read as a pre-teen is a children’s

Rip Van Winkle

Illustration : Rip Van Winkle

story by Washington Irving titled Rip Van Winkle. I still remember my excitement watching the cartoon version of the story on Lagos Weekend Television (LTV) in the 80’s. Seeing one of my favorite tales come to life before my eyes was a joy unparalleled! For those of you who’ve never heard of this classic fiction, I’ll do you the honour of summarizing the tale:

The story is set in the pre- American Revolution War. Its central character is a man, Rip Van Winkle, who lives in a village at the foot of the Kaatskill Mountains along with his kids and nagging wife (Dame Van Winkle). He is well loved by the kids in the village because he often gives toys and entertains them with stories. He enjoys solitude and has a penchant for idleness which often incurs the wrath of his nagging wife. She complains incessantly about his lack of industry and neglect for his farm land which is constantly in disarray.

On one fateful autumn day, Rip escapes into the mountains with his dog, Wolf, to escape a barrage of nagging from his wife. As he wanders along he hears someone calling his name. On proceeding towards the direction of the voice, he comes in contact with a man dressed in old fashioned Dutch clothing. The man asks Rip for help and without hesitation, he assists the stranger in carrying a keg of rum all the way into a hollow-like Amphitheatre in the mountain. There he meets other men similarly dressed like the stranger, playing ninepins and drinking rum boisterously. He soon joins them in their drinking and revelry and before long, falls into a deep sleep.

He awakens and it is morning. He skin is wrinkled, his beard is long, his gun is old and rusted and Wolf is nowhere to be found. He returns to the village to find out that he has been asleep for 20 long years; his wife is now late, the American Revolution has taken place and his close friends have all died in the war. Someone calls out to a man called Rip Van Winkle who turns out to be his son, now a grown man. He is eventually taken in by his daughter who’s also now a full grown adult.

Such was Rip Van Winkle’s fate; missed out on every detail of life for 2 decades. The last he remembered, he was a young man wandering into the mountains. And now he awakens an old man unable to account for the past 20 years of his life.

I can relate to Rip Van Winkles experience because I too feel like I have been in a coma for that long; I can’t really account for the past 20 years of my life. The last I remembered I was an enthusiastic youth looking forward to an exciting future, but I am now in a future far different from what I had anticipated. There are lot of things I ought to have accomplished by now which just didn’t matter to me. Why didn’t they matter until now? Why has my mind been oblivious to the opportunities of the day? What did I do with all that time? How did the grey hairs sneak up on me undetected? Why did I never have a strong desire to get married until now? Why am I living far less than my potential while others who had far less potential at the beginning have gone far ahead? Why was I so comfortable with my self-imposed limitations? What was it that put me to sleep? Why am I suddenly waking up to the harsh reality that the time is short? Why now and not earlier? Just wondering if I am the reincarnated Rip Van Winkle.

This reminds me of Sharru Nada’s account in the all-time classic, The Richest man in Babylon. 40 years ago he arrived at Babylon a slave, and saw some labourers toiling by the gateway leading into the city. 40 years later he returns to Babylon a wealthy free man and notices the same men still toiling by the same spot; they’d had made no progress for 40 years.  God forbid that should be my testimony!

I talked this over with a friend and told him of my painful awakening and he said to me, “anytime a man wakes up, that is morning for him. No need to wallow in regrets. Forge ahead! I have decided from this point on not to allow the latter part of my life become a reflection of my past.

I am going to redeem the time!

 

Here’s to the crazy ones!

Just stumbled on this inspirational commercial by Apple. Never seen it before. It’s really inspiring. What genius.

” …because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do!”

Get motivated by this 59 sec video. Enjoy!

Obey your dreams because dreamers are the saviours of the world!

Ok. It’s archive digging session again. Sometimes I have to return to my own writing for inspiration. And I am glad I did this time cos it really stirred something up in me again. Read and be empowered: 

I was heading home from work last night and strangely the words of James

Dreamers

Allen kept ringing in my head, ” the dreamers are the saviours of the world”.I couldnt shake them off.They lingered on till i went to bed.

I woke up the next morning to the melodious chorus of Michael Jackson’s Human nature playing repeatedly like a marathon in my mind.It’s been at least two decades since I first heard that song and yet its influence is just as powerful as the memory of a first kiss.My imagination immediately went to work directing a video featuring R&B icons Mario and Alicia Keys, performing a Grammy-styled rendition of Human Nature.I could just picture Alicia Keys magically fingering the piano while backing up Mario’s soulful lead, which masterfully captured the nostalgic mood of the song in vocal crescendos and diminuendos.

My my my…..the memory of it is still sooooooooo refreshing.It got me thinking though.

What if Michael Jackson talked himself out of his dreams.We probably would never have heard Human Nature sung,at least not with such perfection.

What if the eleven year old Quincy Jones decided not to pursue his musical interests? Michael Jackson’s Thriller album may never have existed as the Hottest selling album in history.And Quincy Jones would probably have died from his regular diet of fried rats.

What if Christopher Columbus never believed in his vision of a rich and fertile land across the seas? America would not exist today.

What if Mary Slessor decided to be quiet about twin infant killings? I would not be alive to share these words with you today.

What if Martin Luther King Jr refused to commit himself to a vision of a better future for his nation but instead chose to give in to the present crisis? America would have been caught in a cycle of baseless racial tension.

What if Nelson Mandela never believed in the power of a vision? Apartheid probably would still have a strong hold on South Africa.

What if Berry Gordy had chosen the path of least resistant by sticking to a 9 to 5 job? There would have been no Motown Records, no Diana Ross & the Supremes, no Jackson 5, no Marvin Gaye.

What if Winston Churchill broke his commitment to defeating Hitler and his allies? There would have been genocide on a greater scale than was originally recorded during Hitlers rule.There probably would have been monumental abattoirs littered all over the world flowing with the blood of innocent Jews and Africans.

What if Ted Turner thought that having an office couch for a bed for ten years was too high a price to pay for the success of CNN ? We would not have had CNN today and probably no Aljazeera.

Imagine Thomas Edison giving up on his dream of inventing a light bulb after the nine hundred and ninety ninth trial.Do you have any idea the number of houses that would have been razed to the ground and lives lost through the use of candles and naked flames?

What if Sir Alexander Flemming never pursued his vision of finding an antibiotic? He would never have stumbled on the legendary accident that brought about the discovery of penicillin.

I think by now you know what i am driving at.Its become obvious that dreamers are truly the saviors of the world.Through them God gave us hope, music, TV, radio, ships, houses, medicines, books, leadership, deliverance, the Gospel and many other blessings.

We enjoyed the benefits of their commitment to their dreams.My question is, Will our generation and the generations to come benefit from the realization our dreams? Or do we chose to ignore them and settle for an empty , slavish life of living to pay the bills till the day we die?

I believe dream-killing is a crime against humanity.We deprive the world of the blessings of God when we shelve our dreams.We must commit to our God-given vision and leave a legacy for others to enjoy or else we’ll never truly live.

My advice to you is ,Obey your dreams and be the saviour you were meant to be!

– Nigerianphilosopher

Click on the image above.

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Two questions that frightened me as a child!

Pictorial view of a Galaxy

I have always been a philosopher. If I wasn’t worrying about something, I would be thinking about something or worse still, questioning something. It’s always been in me.You know what they say about children; they often ask questions that adults never think about. And boy,  did I have my fair share of questions.

On one of those days I was just lost in thought, pondering about everything and nothing. Then two questions out of the blue popped into my head. They scared the wits out of me. I was so frightened that I chose not to think about them anymore. But I never could shake them off. They kept on haunting me for a very long time. Want to know what they were? Here you go:

1. Beyond earth you have outer space; what do you have beyond outer space?????

(Now you see how frightening this must have been for a 10 year old boy.Don’t freak out just yet,it gets worse)

2. God created the universe; so who created God????

At this point, I feared if Ididn’t stop my mind, I would soon lose it!  So I guess I must have run off to play with the other kids before I ended up in the Asylum; an attempt to occupy my mind with saner thoughts. Haha!

Funny, it’s been decades but I still feel the terror that gripped that 10 year old boy like it was yesterday.

I’ve since made peace with these questions. Ever since I got to develop a relationship with my Creator through my Christian faith, God has made me understand that  He is the Un-created Creator – the Self existent One. And as for what lies beyond outer space, I’d rather take the position of the psalmist in the Bible who said, “I do not concern myself with matters too wonderful for me”.

– Nigerian Philosopher

Click on the image above.

In-depth interview with Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

I can remember the first time I stumbled on this interview with Quincy Jones on Achievement.org. I was blown away. To hear the brains behind Michael Jackson’s Thriller album production share his journey from a poor, obscure childhood to a mega-successful adult was so refreshing and empowering. I can’t remember how many times I have reread this interview (as well as Ted Turner’s); must have been a zillion times. Haha! But I love it!

If you’ve always thought poverty (the guy actually fed on fried rats at a time, can you believe that !!!) and racism are insurmountable challenges, then Quincy Jones will change your mind.

Please read and be blessed:

 Quincy Jones

(Quincy Jones was first interviewed by the Academy of Achievement on June 3, 1995 in Williamsburg, Virginia and again on October 28, 2000 in London, England. The following transcript draws on both interviews.)

You were born in Chicago. What was your life like when you were a child?

Quincy Jones: We were in the heart of the ghetto in Chicago during the Depression, and every block — it was probably the biggest black ghetto in America — every block — it also is the spawning ground probably for every gangster, black and white, in America too. So, we were around all of that. We saw that every day. There was a policeman named Two Gun Pete, a black policeman, who used to shoot teenagers in the back every weekend and everything happened there all the time. A gang on every street: the Vagabonds, the Giles HC, the Scorpions, and just on and on. In each gang they had the dukes and duchesses, junior and senior, which accommodated everybody in the neighborhood. That was the whole idea, for unity, really. Our biggest struggle every day was we were either running from gangs or with gangs. And it was just getting to school and back home. Because if your parents aren’t home all day, you know, it’s a notorious trek. I still have the medals here from the switchblade through my hand, pinned to a tree. I had an ice pick here in the temple one time. But, when you’re young, nothing harms you, nothing scares you or anything. You don’t know any better. And in the summertime — the schools were the roughest schools probably in America. I saw teachers getting hurt and maimed and everything every day, and it was everyday stuff.

Extracted from Achievement.org Click here to continue the  interview:

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