I wrote this a while back.You can get some laughs out of it.

I sent this open mail about 2 years ago to my oldschool mates at FGC Warri.Some liked it, some didnt.But i think you will.

PLEASE NOTE: The names of the original characters have been changed to protect their identity but most importantly, the safety of the writer.lol!:

Long time no see.I think you’ve brought up a very important topic that needs to be addressed.This issue of “yahooboys”. I am surprised that such a negative report like that can inspire laughter from Mr X. If not for the change in trend we should all be lying in sackcloth and ashes(thats a symbol of mourning by the way).

I would love for everyone to take this topic seriously cos it affects the next generation of Nigerians as well as the image of your country ,which in turn affects the way you all will treated when you have any dealings with the international community…..Doing business across the boarder has not been easy cos almost every western organisation I meet on the net says “we don’t ship to THAT country”.Can you imagine that.Well can you really blame them.There’s just too much corruption over here.

You know,I can really relate to this ‘yahooboys”. They are the offspring of an uninformed society.The children of ignorance like I once was. Back in the days in FGC warri,when the Lagos boys decided to turn things upside down(God have mercy on them).They came with their fantastic tales about their “doings” in Lagos .And how they rolled with this Minister’s son at grand parties and exploring every worldly fantasy. Most of those tales, I now realize, were largely fiction. But a lot of us bought it hook, line, sinker, fisherman and the boat. We were slowly being seduced away from the life of simplicity.We all wanted to belong.I know i did more than anybody else.But I wasn’t street wise.I wasn’t as sly as Mr M,i wasn’t as daring as MR A,I wasnt as wild as Mr P,I was’t a talker like Mr T,I wasnt as smooth with the ladies as MR O(was he really that smooth?Can’t remember,but lets just assume for the lack recall that he was).

I also met this same challenge growing up in shell camp.So how was i going to bridge the gap?So how was i going to meet up,be accepted?Oh yes i remember.The Lagos boys left clues (which weren’t very helpful to me):
1.Sell your mothers expensive wrappers-My mom wasnt into expensive wrappers.
2.Sell the compressor of the fridge or AC at home-That could have attracted a death sentence-Had some hard uncles living with us.lol!
3.Sell your parents’ jewelry- again my parents were modest people.
4.Steal your Dads Forex- My Dad didnt have forex.
5.Last but not the least,steal your dads money.Go groove for two weeks then return with a cock and bull story of how you were jazzed-My Dad was Shell staff.Most shell staff back then rarely left money lying around.

I wasn’t about to get frustrated.Where there’s a will there’s a way. And i found one.The perfect crime to raise me the perfect dough to earn the perfect respect in High Society-Go sell my Dads old vinyl records.And boy, did we have a lot of them. So i took a few to test run my “breakthrough deal”.And off i went to a place in PortHarcourt called Park .I used to see lots of old records there. My interpretation was that they had lots of records cos they WERE really selling. I didnt realized later on that they had lots records because they WERE’NT selling.Well, at the end of the day i was just lucky I made enough money to pay my fare home.They cost a dime a dozen.How disappointing. I decided from that day to give up the life of crime cos I had learned the hard way that crime doesn’t pay.Haha!

What am I getting at? I am just trying to say that the wrong information about success and recognition is filtering into the social circles of the youth. Just like it did in our days. So we all have the responsibility of circulating the right information through the media,our conversations and through the life that we,the old skool(haha!) , model to these young people.If we are not willing to make our little contribution then lets not complain about it.


2 thoughts on “I wrote this a while back.You can get some laughs out of it.

  1. Sharon Salu says:

    I can imagine the look of horror on your face when you found out how much the vinyl records were worth. LOL! I like the fact that you put the onus/responsibility on us, to point these young men and women in the right path. They are watching us and we owe it to them to make the right decisions. However, I don’t think it is a lack of good role models alone that is the reason for these yahoo-yahoo boys going the wrong way. It is the fact that as far as they can see, crime pays. They have seen their parents slave at honest, good paying jobs, and still not afford to buy a bicycle talk less of a car, even after years of faithful service.

    • upwardliving says:

      “I can imagine the look of horror on your face when you found out how much the vinyl records were worth. LOL!”
      – Complete shock!
      As per the yahooyahoo boys,everything rises and falls on leadership as John Maxwell would say.

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